Words by Karr, Photos by Deon vd & Eric Palmer.
This past weekend, Montecasino once again hosted the absolute mayhem that is known as King of the Whip, a freestyle motocross competition which unites both FMX riders and motocross racers in their love for jumping over stuff, while doing crazy moves and trying not to crash… most of the time.
It was our first time attending a live event under the label of ‘media’; having that green paper strip glued around your wrist, and thusly being entitled to free access everywhere and anywhere you please, just short of following the riders into the bathrooms, inspired a feeling best described as a combination of awe, broad-chested pride, and devastating nervousness.
Let’s get to the part everyone’s actually here for: the competition.
We arrived at Montecasino just a tiny bit late, and since at least two of our party have never even set foot in this alternate universe, we might’ve gotten temporarily lost. Or, as we like to call it, exploring the area.
Soon, we found it: King of the Whip!
But wait!
What IS a whip?
Not the one your wife used on you last night… when… she sent you off to do the dishes??? Unless, perhaps, you’re married to Vicki Golden.
Which you’re not, bud. Sorry.
A ‘whip’ in Freestyle Motocross refers to a mid air trick where the obviously crazy riders flick their bikes sideways and even backwards while doing everything they can do to almost fall off, while aiming to land without actually falling off.
At King of the Whip, as the name implies, these madmen go beyond gravity and any grain of logic that exists in the world in order to see who of them could out-crazy the rest, performing moves high above the (very much solid) ground that most of us couldn’t even imitate while fully in touch with said ground without our stomachs filing for divorce.
After the opening rounds of out of seat, mile high madness, a young, local FMX prodigy lined up to show us what he could do. If we were you, we’d file his name somewhere with all the other important names for future reference: Ryan Bogart. Because what he did next took him a whole eight months to learn.
This twelve-year-old ended up jumping at least five times in a row, each time pulling off a trick more advanced than the last, until someone behind the start line threatened him with cutting off his Wi-Fi for the rest of the year if he didn’t stop.
It’s also worth noting that he jumped the exact same ramp the pro’s were using. No tiny little practice ramps the size of a dachshund. Heck no – the full-size, twenty-three-metre competition ramp.
This kid’s going places. Mostly up, but places.
Throughout the evening, a handful of riders were called out to partake in the semi-final round of sideways madness, during which the out-of-seat, look-ma-no-hands shenanigans continued to increase in extravagance. While waiting on the judges to decide who was mental enough to enter the finals, those who were of even more crazy mettle were given the chance to battle it out for the Best Upright and Best Upside-Down Trick crowns.
Though the upright tricks were already stomach-pinchingly insane, we’ve never seen so many motorcycles going upside-down in such a short span of time, without them being in an actual crash, as we saw during the upside-down competition. How do they make it look so easy?!
Speaking of crashes, there were less of those than one would expect, with just two riders coming a bit short – or long – on their jumps. During the opening round, one of the four Venters had a nasty get-off, while Ryan Adler rounded off the night with a crash during the finals.
Both riders were alright, though we heard Venter got hurt a little more than Adler. The latter even continued to compete, bent-back handlebars and all.
The final whips of the evening were undoubtedly the most insane. Riders’ arses were everywhere but on the seat, their hands anywhere but the handlebars. Mothers everywhere scolded in dread.
No sooner was the last jump jumped, and every rider tried to demolish their rear tyres simultaneously, which was the definite origin of the storm clouds that hung over Johannesburg for the next few days. Then the lights went out for the Rig Riot: essentially, a Monster-fuelled rave featuring a handful of the lovely Monster girls and lots (we mean LOTS) of awe-inspiring laser shows. This served to keep the over-energized crowd occupied while the judges fought over which rider won which competition.
Allow us to digress for one second, too, and circle back to a beautiful lady named Vicki Golden, who came all the way from America to compete in this year’s KotW, making her the first female rider ever at the competition. In our humble opinion, she kicked butt.
We’d also like to boast that we, in the line of duty, were nearly run over by Golden as her bike tried to escape the barriers when it heard someone talk crap about its rider; then, during the tyre-smoking orgy, we were almost turned into a barrier-Karr-sandwich by another rogue motorcycle. The glory of it all! We would’ve died happy.
Shall we run through your podiums real quick? Why not?
Sure, just about everyone attending KotW were there for the spectacle, and couldn’t really care much who won the fancy, shiny trophies, but it was a competition, after all.
Starting with Best Trick Upright, Julien Vanstippen ended up in third place, while the obvious crowd-favourite in the popularity contest, Genki ‘Wanky’ Watanabe claimed second. But top honours went the way of Australian Chill Dude, Pat Bowden.
Then came Best Trick Upside-Down. Julien Vanstippen was again third, while Marc Pinyol’s incredible ‘California Roll’ earned him second. We think Marc won the Best Beard Award, too. Not to mention those eyelashes – drag queens everywhere must be jealous.
But it was Pat Bowden who was chosen as the most impressive upside-down rider of the evening. Winning both of the support competitions after breaking your pelvis just six weeks ago? Now that’s impressive.
Now, for the competition everyone came to see: The King of the Whip!
The sole woman in the line-up, the first lady ever to attend and compete, Vicki Golden ended up taking fifth overall.
Fourth place was awarded to the Ugandan rider, Stav Orland, possibly one of the tallest riders in the field.
Ry Hazell, on his KotW debut, claimed third spot, then promptly tripped getting on the podium.
Last year’s King, Julien Vanstippen, ended up second.
The rider to dethrone the old King – who had reigned for three years – was the American youngster who had, before this weekend, never even left his home country, Wyatt Fontenot.
Way to go, every one of you maniacs! Even those who didn’t make it onto the podiums – you’re all crazier than we are, and we respect that.
Just like that, it was over. The glorious noise of multiple offroad motorcycles being revved and pushed beyond their limits died down, and we were left with an exhaust-fume and tyre-smoke hangover only attending another King of the Whip could cure.
We said good-night to the pyrotechnic-filled, laser-lightshow-dotted extravaganza of insanity with some reluctance, and vowed to return.
~ Karr
